Patty-Kikos-Bronte-Sydney-Civil-Celebrant-Submit-ArticleThe only context I’ve ever used it is when I was at University studying to be a Social Worker and I would grumble about having to submit my essays.

According to an article published by the Sydney Morning Herald:

BRIDES will be promising to submit to their husbands under a new marriage vow the Anglican diocese of Sydney is expected to approve at its synod in October.

It requires the minister to ask of the bride: ”Will you honour and submit to him, as the church submits to Christ?” and for her to pledge ”to love and submit” to her husband.

The service is already being used in some Sydney parishes, under a diocese that opposes the full ordination of women and supports an exclusively male leadership doctrine.”

When I consulted my trusty friend Wikepedia

sub·mit  <a suhb-mit] sub·mit·ted, sub·mit·ting.

verb (used with object) give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively). subject to some kind of treatment or influence. present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application. state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually followed by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.

verb (used without object) yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror. allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy. defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.

I asked a few people about what the word meant to them, and one of my friends in his late 40’s said “Submit. It’s kind of like surrender – but you both need to surrender to each other, not just the woman to a man”

I feel sad that this is still prevalent, but as a Sydney celebrant based in Bronte, I’m happy that I can be part of 2 people uniting in a way that’s loving, equal, balanced and fair during a marriage ceremony.

While (thankfully) this alternative is not mandatory some couples have chosen to include this as part of their service. Like most literature, (including and especially the bible), it is open to interpretation.

The analogy given was that marriage was akin to dancing: ”The male always leads, even if he’s not necessarily the best dancer … as long as you take the definition of male leadership that we’re operating on, which is giving yourself up and putting others’ interests ahead of yourself.”

What-does-the-word-submit-mean-to-you - Sydney Marriage Celebrant

It’s an interesting point, one that I can relate to as a former dancer myself.

The way I see it is, he may have been the leader, but I executed the style. And we were always ALWAYS equal. The tension between our hands had to be if we wanted to maintain any kind of synergy. My old dancer teacher would often say that I was the portrait, but he was the frame.

I just never remember ‘submitting’ to any of my male dance partners – especially if he wasn’t a good dancer.

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