Dear Patty,
I’d really like to have my mum included in the ceremony, do you have some suggestions on how this could be done?
Signed The Bride & Groom
You are in luck – I have a whopping 5 suggestions for you, read below and see if one of them resonates well with you.
1. Walking down the aisle
Many brides choose to have mum AND dad walk them down the aisle (some brides choose to walk by themselves, some choose not to have an aisle, some choose to walk down with their groom and some choose to have just mum walk them down).
In a ceremony I officiated a few weeks ago, Ms Bride chose to have her mum stand next to her groom as he dad walked her down. Once they got to the front of the aisle, the groom shook hands with her dad and then mum and dad took their seats together.
2. Reading a Poem
This can be tricky if mum is not a fan of public speaking or is not a native English speaker, although I think reading a poem in her mother tongue (pun intended) is a beautiful gesture.
In one particular ceremony, mum was an opera singer and was asked to sing a song that she performed beautifully. If your mum has a tendency to ‘take over’ once she’s on stage you best skip over to the next suggestion.
3. Being acknowledged in the introduction
This is a beautiful way to have someone like the minister or the celebrant pay tribute to the values and the love that has been shared by your family over the years.
Essentially, the bride and groom are already a family, but during the ceremony, it’s a time when this is recognised officially and it’s nice to pay homage to the family you’ve come from.
4. Signing of the Registry
Each ceremony required 2 witnesses to help seal the deal and if both mum and mum in law tend to shy away from speaking or walking down the aisle, being a witness at their children’s’ wedding ceremony is a touching way to be acknowledged.
It’s a great way for them to feel included and have a special role for the day and on paper.
5. Handing out the bomboniere or rose petals
During some ceremonies, guests are given rose petals during the signing so that the bride and groom can be showered with them once they have officially been declared husband and wife.
This is a role that can be given to a wide range of helpers from budding flower girls, to the more efficient mum’s.
In families that have grown and have inherited wonderful step parents, the roles above can also be shared between mum, mother in law and step mum.
Patty Kikos has been a Sydney Wedding Celebrant for 10 years. Her popularity is due to her professionalism and enthusiasm for holding a wonderful space for each couple couple she officiates for.
