When her children were born, the strong and forthright Anne decided not to bestow any role titles on them so that they could have a normal upbringing. It appears that Zara has chosen to keep her surname but Im still wondering why this is such a big deal. Its 2011. Is her surname anybody’s business?

An article I read by Joana Moorhead who described Zara’s decision as a message about identity particularly fascinated me. She writes “it’s about individuality, and it’s about equality in marriage. What she’s saying is that, in marrying Mike Tindall, she’s not giving up the person she herself is. She has no intention of becoming her husband’s “other half”; she isn’t going to be subsumed into his persona and become “Mrs Tindall”.

This quote bothers me a little as it assumes every single woman that has ever changed her surname upon marrying, did so in an act of submission. It doesn’t consider that in this day and age, it’s about personal choice. In many cases it’s about the perspective of a fresh start, thus the choice to adopt a new name. In other cases, it’s about never having a connection with the family name you carry in the first place, so for many women what would be the point in keeping it?

Moorhead then went on to say “Because keeping your own name is a strong statement; it signifies a firm choice about who you are, and who you are going to be”. I have news for you Ms Moorhead. Changing your surname does exactly the same thing! A friend of mine that came from a broken family where she and her 2 siblings had 3 different surnames was determined to be part of a family unit that had the same last name. For her, the obvious choice was her husbands surname as he had such a strong connection to his family who had in turn embraced her so lovingly.

In a country like Australia, there is no law regarding a post matrimonial name change and likewise there is no law regarding the surname of any offspring that ensue either before or after the marriage. Legally, there is freedom. Socially, there is still judgment. I still wonder why.

Im always delighted when I see my name and address handwritten on an envelope. In the microseconds that it takes for me to gleefully open the envelope; I mentally try to match the writing with the friend that might have sent it.

I was humbled and delighted when I received a card out of the blue from a friend in New York.  We met many years ago when we discovered the magic of Santorini at the same time.

Her words were heartfelt and genuine and for some reason their power seemed more potent to me than if I had read them in an email.

I felt blessed to be perceived as an ‘unapolagetic free spirit’ and so honoured that she thought that of me as it was not the way I would have described myself.The card was so beautiful that I was inspired to pop it n a frame and place it in my room. Every time I see it I feel encouraged knowing that somebody believes in me.

I’ve also been enthused to do exactly the same thing for those I admire that provide me with hope and inspiration. I’m starting small by selecting 12 beautiful cards, so 1 for every month.

I was the celebrant for my client Sarah and we were chatting about this recently. She said that writing thankyou cards for her guests was more poignant than the wedding invitations. “Everyone got the same invite, but it took me a while to finish the thankyou cards, as everyone’s physical and emotional contribution to the day was so different”

Do you write cards? Do you enjoy receiving them? Is it a girly thing?

As someone who is inspired by the concept of love, it’s a topic that I talk and write about often often, especially in my role as a celebrant.

Like millions of other people in the world, I was predictably interested in seeing the ceremony when Prince William tied the knot with the former Kate Middleton and the current Catherine of Cambridge.

As inspired as I am with the concept of Australia becoming a Republic, a royal wedding still pikes my interest especially as the last one that held any significance for us Aussies was 7 years ago when Mary Elizabeth Donaldson became the Crown Princess of Denmark.

Given that the ceremony was in Danish and the only thing Mary was required to utter was a single Danish yes at one point in the service, I was particularly looking forward to hearing (and understanding) the words during William and Catherine’s ceremony.

As much as I’m not a huge fan of church weddings, admittedly there have been a handful that I’ve attended that have been quite beautiful. Theirs was certainly one of them.

The choreography of the service, which included prayers and a reading from Catherine’s brother, was seamless. After hearing of the number of rehearsals that they had prior to the day, I would certainly hope so.

One thing that stood out for me was hearing the priest declare ‘that every wedding is a Royal Wedding’. Bravo! I could not agree more.

A religious service in a church has a beautiful effect but anyone that has been part of a ceremony that had the rainforest, a park or a beach as the backdrop knows that Mother Nature is certainly majestic in terms of providing an amazing backdrop.

Whether it’s a wedding ceremony that is civil, religious, casual, beachy, formal or traditional, every wedding represents the notion that the bride and the groom are like the queen and the king of their party that celebrates their love and commitment to each other.

As a celebrant, I’d like to think that my role is important enough to be deemed stately in the most relaxed of ceremonious ways. Perhaps I should start wearing longer robes..

There’s an old adage that states ‘3 times a bridesmaid , never a bride’ and if I subscribed to this notion, I’d have plenty to worry about as I have been a bridesmaid a whopping 6 times.

As a celebrant I often see the dynamics between brides and their bridesmaids and I can’t help but notice a shift in the last few years. Bridesmaids seem to be more empowered than they have been in the past and I can’t help but wonder if as a society, we are a little more conscious of trying to avoid the negative bridezilla tag?

One of the general trends that seem to be emerging is that couples are choosing to tie the knot when they’re a little older than they have been in previous years. A bride is likely to have a few more career and relationship successes under her belt and although her wedding is a special day, it’s not the only key defining moment in her life. 

As their friends are marrying a little later in life, chances are that bridesmaids have probably already worn a dress or 2 they didn’t like. The likelihood of buying a dress that they will never want to wear again is a fashion trend that went out long ago but also seems to be a boundary firmly in place in this day and age. The issue of whether the bride or the bridesmaid foots the bill for the dress still remains undecided and for many comes down to cultural differences.

After watching Prince William marry Kate now Catherine of Cambridge, many commented on her sister Pippa stole the show. There is in fact a Facebook page dedicated exclusively to her derriere. The fact that Kate had no qualms whatsoever with her sister looking her best shows what a confident self assured woman she really is.

Interestingly, a bridesmaid doesn’t always represent the bride anymore. At times she can be part of the crew for the ‘groomsfolk’ or a ‘groomsmaid’. In keeping with the theme of equality it should be noted that close male friends are also likely to be seconded as ‘bridesmen’ or ‘bridesfolk’. I wonder what the process is like when choosing outfits. Personally I think it sounds like greater fun. Click here to read the article I was quoted on recently